II. Begin Again
(original poem title “Da Capo”)
Take the used-up heart like a pebble
And throw it far out.
Soon there is nothing left.
Soon the last ripple exhausts itself
in the weeds.
Returning home, slice carrots, onions, celery.
Glaze them in oil before adding
the lentils, water, and herbs.
Then the roasted chestnuts, a little pepper, the salt.
Finish with goat cheese and parsley. Eat.
You may do this, I tell you, it is permitted.
Begin again the story of your life.
IV. The Fire
Again open
the book
of reds and golds.
Study the faces
of poppy and lion,
the bright-carpet
tapetum lucidum
of your own life.
What looks back
and seems to be burning
is burning;
though not all the same:
in the moment
of turning away
from rain,
the day gives off—
red & gold—
the slightest scent of peaches.
This too
so you might know things
as they are.
So you, who are
already walking within,
will come in.
Why else take up
the body’s single candle,
if not to see
how everything is consumed?
VI. Turn Over
(original poem title “The Clock”)
Night pond,
its few leaves
floating:
absence-of-stars,
drifting over the surface.
But even
fallen things
disrupt each other.
Beauty, griefs turn over.
The leaves move
all night, slowly,
until they again are red.
about
“Like one in six men, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse,” says Evan Ware. “But this fact remained submerged in plain sight for over twenty years of my life. Only a crisis forced me to finally look under the surface. And when I came up for air, it was as though I could breathe for the first time. The instability of my life—the convulsive emotions I was constantly barricading, the pain I reflexively inflicted on myself and others—finally had a name: trauma. It was then that I truly began to heal. I wrote these symphonies to build community by sharing my experience of recovery so that no survivor needs to feel alone as I did.”
The Quietest of Whispers includes two large-scale works that chronicle Ware’s survival from childhood sexual abuse. It took another crisis, however – a brush with cancer in 2011 – to finally confront what he had been avoiding. Having no choice but to stare down his own mortality granted him a new perspective: he didn’t need to be afraid anymore.
Ware uses his rich musical language to invite understanding of the turbulence, volatility, bewilderment, and dissociation of the survivor’s twilight journey, and then to steer it, with tenderness and vulnerability, towards the light.
Symphony No. 1 is an unflinching, single-movement exploration of how abuse survivors restore their fractured and dissociated narratives. Entirely instrumental, it stands in contrast to Symphony No. 2, a more introspective work that adds a soprano to the ensemble and sets three texts by American poet Jane Hirshfield. Dedicated to the hundreds of survivors from the late 2010s Michigan State University and USA Gymnastics sexual abuse cases, it is a journey through the recondite and luminous beauty of the daily struggle to love yourself.
“Perhaps better than any other works I have written, these two symphonies realize a core aim of my work: that it helps people face the most formidable questions of our daily lives. I offer no solutions. What I do offer is my companionship and understanding in dark places; the faintest of lights, perhaps, the quietest of whispers.”
Evan Ware is a composer and music theorist who focuses on the reclamation of human dignity and community in the face of trauma, hatred, isolation, and distraction. Praised as “rich with vivid imagery” and “highly detailed and multi-layered” (New Music Box), Evan writes music of angular, bristling energy, with moments ranging from clamorous sublimity to reverent tenderness. His works span media from orchestra, wind ensemble, gamelan, to opera, chamber music, and solo instruments. An active scholar of cover songs and multi-media music, he co-edited Music in Star Trek: Sound, Utopia, and the Future (Routledge, 2023). He is Assistant Professor of Music Theory and Composition at Cal Poly Pomona.
An avid champion of music of our time, Kevin Fitzgerald co-founded ÆPEX Contemporary Performance in 2015 with composer Garrett Schumann at Eastern Michigan State University. They are joined in Symphony No. 2 by celebrated soprano, Amy Petrongelli, praised by The New York Times for her “admirable fluidity.”
credits
released July 24, 2023
ÆPEX Contemporary Performance
Kevin Fitzgerald, conductor
Amy Petrongelli, soprano
Evan Ware is a composer and music theorist who focuses on the reclamation of human dignity and community in the face of trauma, hatred, isolation, and distraction.
There’s a quiet beauty to this remix album of compositions by Michael Vincent Waller, with contributions from JLin, Prefuse 73, & more. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 1, 2024